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Author: John Jhoomun
Greetings lovers of Monash and those on my email list !!
It was
back to the traditional Saturday for Monash University. After a good
win against somewhat inferior opposition the Monash twos were keen to
consolidate last weeks victory at the ground where in last years
fixture, Alex stuffed his leg up and Tim was controversially rotated by
Bob West. Tim has still not forgiven Bob West for this despite Bob West
recently attempting to get Mark rogers to sing Welsh Choirs outside his
palatial home in Lane st. Rogers declined the honour muttering
something about his image having already taken a battering after Cedric
ran riot last weekend. Rogers was concerned that if Cedric were to come
along, his talents would go unnoticed much like he feels at present
playing left back !!!!
With competition for spots keen, Coach De La torre named his side with
two changes from the previous week with Sergio and Grant coming in for
Abdi and Alex. A sunny day beckoned but the Monash twos had problems
with young Michael Jhoomun , fresh from a visit to the local newsagency
where he bought a new clipboard calling in sick. Alex took the gloves
so he could marvel at the talents of Luke Davies, the shy centreback
who goes out with a medical student. As Luke trudged to the ground,
resplendent in his weekend wear someone realised that no-one had bought
the strip. Frantic calls ensued and the strip arrived just as Monash
started the game. Clad in a somewhat unfamiliar black and white strip
and a vast array of shorts Luke was puzzled. He turned to Cedric for an
explanation but none was forthcoming. " Its all Marks fault" cried out
Rosalie. "He is trying to diminish my sex appeal, he is jealous for me
making moves at the choir recital on Wednesday'. Rogers was silent but
the die was cast. 'Left Back' . Rogers trudged into position. Marks
other teammates were Luke and Pana in central defence, and Cedric on
the right. In the middle were David D and Grant and on the flanks were
Matt and Johnny. Matt is a strange one. Having come from Old Scotch
with Al, Matt was already a target for Johnny's Barbs. When Matt
arrived at training last week in a Spurs top, Johnny saw red. Its bad
enough to be from Old scotch but Spurs ?? Upfront was young Simon
Serebryanikov, fresh from a hard weeks training and a 'soft'
performance in our indoor grand Final. Partnering him was my favourite
Sergio 'Shampoo' Llopart. On the bench were Tim, Peter K and Chris
Peters who lent me his shorts for the first half. Thanks Chris. As the
referee blew his whistle, Ray Messner strode to the ground clutching
the strip. Johnny in his bike shorts and the shirtless Smurthwaite had
startled onlookers causing jam and scones to hit the floor of late
model BMws along Reserve Rd. Clad in an unfamiliar strip Monash strode
onto the narrow pitch with Johnny attracting his dad and friends.
On the narrow pitch,space like Beaumaris real estate prices was at a
premium. With De La torre ranting, Monash soon settled with the
midfield linking well . Grant Davies is a classy player and with David
Downes hurtling up and back like a finely tuned car, Sergio and Simon
were getting plenty of good balls. Matt was doing a good job on the
right driving to the line while Johnny was tucking inside. The defence
was capably led with Luke attacking and winning balls and distributing
well. Monash had a succession of corners and it was from one such
corner that the first attempt came with Johnny hitting a rocket that
according to Mark Rogers 'just missed' from outside the box. From
another corner Cedrics deep cross was met by Johnny calling loudly ,who
saw visions of Tony Adams scoring the winner against Spurs tomorrow
night. THe ball went to Matt instead who Thierry Henry like put it over
his shoulder for a goal. Matt didnt even know he had scored but Tv
replays confirmed he had. The Arsenal man and the Spurs man combining
if somewhat accidentally. Great finish Matt!
Now Simon Serebryanikov is a man who has potential. I deride him for
being one footed, an engineering student, a Carlton Supporter and being
small but when he is on song he can be superb. When the ball was
intercepted by Johnny on the left edge of the box Johnny lofted the
ball into space for Simon to score with a deft chip. Who needs to train
when you can do that? 2-0 to Notts County aka Monash. Matt was tearing
them up on the right and despite a few minutes of pressure near the end
of the half, Monash were in impervious form. At the break 2 to the good
and like Man U vs Southhampton, the away team changed their strip
except we were up and had a playing manager.
In a dazzling ten minute display in which Johnny did not manage to
touch the ball once, Monash scored two excellent goals with Simon and
Serge scoring. Simons was from an acute angle across the goal and then
with a back-heel that was both audacious and breathtaking set up
Llopart to make it 4-0. Alex subbed Grant, Sergio and Jhoomun who Alex
thought had been booked. With Jhoomun stating that 'We only played one
side of the ground' with Matt Dominant , johnny trudged off to marvel
at his teammates inexorable running and Smurthwaites cameo role
upfront. The referee missed much with Peter and Matt having penalty
claims turned down. Then Timmy with his family 30 seconds too late
scored a great goal which had him blowing kisses to the crowd and
allowing Smurthwaite to exorcise the ghosts of last years visit. They
did score but according to Alex it wasnt his fault. De la torre was
like a gridion kicker launching punts downfield which Peter K and Tim
got on the end of. Some fine interplay allowed first David Downes to
shoot and later the angelic Rogers but when the whistle blew it was 5-1
to Monash.
Later in the rooms, the little train that could Simon Serebryanikov led
a rousing rendition of the Monash theme song. Simon was huffed and
puffed but like all good passenger trains he finally delivered. About
time !
Monash 5 Beaumaris 1. Serebryanikov 2, Llopart 1, Mumme 1, Smurthwaite 1
Golden Boot Totals ; Simon 2, Llopart1, Pana 1, Kandyliotis 1, Mumme 1, Smurthwaite 1, Jhoomun 1
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