Author: John Jhoomun
Greetings lovers of Monash and those on my email list !!
It was back to the traditional Saturday for Monash University. After a good win against somewhat inferior opposition the Monash twos were keen to consolidate last weeks victory at the ground where in last years fixture, Alex stuffed his leg up and Tim was controversially rotated by Bob West. Tim has still not forgiven Bob West for this despite Bob West recently attempting to get Mark rogers to sing Welsh Choirs outside his palatial home in Lane st. Rogers declined the honour muttering something about his image having already taken a battering after Cedric ran riot last weekend. Rogers was concerned that if Cedric were to come along, his talents would go unnoticed much like he feels at present playing left back !!!!
With competition for spots keen, Coach De La torre named his side with two changes from the previous week with Sergio and Grant coming in for Abdi and Alex. A sunny day beckoned but the Monash twos had problems with young Michael Jhoomun , fresh from a visit to the local newsagency where he bought a new clipboard calling in sick. Alex took the gloves so he could marvel at the talents of Luke Davies, the shy centreback who goes out with a medical student. As Luke trudged to the ground, resplendent in his weekend wear someone realised that no-one had bought the strip. Frantic calls ensued and the strip arrived just as Monash started the game. Clad in a somewhat unfamiliar black and white strip and a vast array of shorts Luke was puzzled. He turned to Cedric for an explanation but none was forthcoming. " Its all Marks fault" cried out Rosalie. "He is trying to diminish my sex appeal, he is jealous for me making moves at the choir recital on Wednesday'. Rogers was silent but the die was cast. 'Left Back' . Rogers trudged into position. Marks other teammates were Luke and Pana in central defence, and Cedric on the right. In the middle were David D and Grant and on the flanks were Matt and Johnny. Matt is a strange one. Having come from Old Scotch with Al, Matt was already a target for Johnny's Barbs. When Matt arrived at training last week in a Spurs top, Johnny saw red. Its bad enough to be from Old scotch but Spurs ?? Upfront was young Simon Serebryanikov, fresh from a hard weeks training and a 'soft' performance in our indoor grand Final. Partnering him was my favourite Sergio 'Shampoo' Llopart. On the bench were Tim, Peter K and Chris Peters who lent me his shorts for the first half. Thanks Chris. As the referee blew his whistle, Ray Messner strode to the ground clutching the strip. Johnny in his bike shorts and the shirtless Smurthwaite had startled onlookers causing jam and scones to hit the floor of late model BMws along Reserve Rd. Clad in an unfamiliar strip Monash strode onto the narrow pitch with Johnny attracting his dad and friends.
On the narrow pitch,space like Beaumaris real estate prices was at a premium. With De La torre ranting, Monash soon settled with the midfield linking well . Grant Davies is a classy player and with David Downes hurtling up and back like a finely tuned car, Sergio and Simon were getting plenty of good balls. Matt was doing a good job on the right driving to the line while Johnny was tucking inside. The defence was capably led with Luke attacking and winning balls and distributing well. Monash had a succession of corners and it was from one such corner that the first attempt came with Johnny hitting a rocket that according to Mark Rogers 'just missed' from outside the box. From another corner Cedrics deep cross was met by Johnny calling loudly ,who saw visions of Tony Adams scoring the winner against Spurs tomorrow night. THe ball went to Matt instead who Thierry Henry like put it over his shoulder for a goal. Matt didnt even know he had scored but Tv replays confirmed he had. The Arsenal man and the Spurs man combining if somewhat accidentally. Great finish Matt!
Now Simon Serebryanikov is a man who has potential. I deride him for being one footed, an engineering student, a Carlton Supporter and being small but when he is on song he can be superb. When the ball was intercepted by Johnny on the left edge of the box Johnny lofted the ball into space for Simon to score with a deft chip. Who needs to train when you can do that? 2-0 to Notts County aka Monash. Matt was tearing them up on the right and despite a few minutes of pressure near the end of the half, Monash were in impervious form. At the break 2 to the good and like Man U vs Southhampton, the away team changed their strip except we were up and had a playing manager.
In a dazzling ten minute display in which Johnny did not manage to touch the ball once, Monash scored two excellent goals with Simon and Serge scoring. Simons was from an acute angle across the goal and then with a back-heel that was both audacious and breathtaking set up Llopart to make it 4-0. Alex subbed Grant, Sergio and Jhoomun who Alex thought had been booked. With Jhoomun stating that 'We only played one side of the ground' with Matt Dominant , johnny trudged off to marvel at his teammates inexorable running and Smurthwaites cameo role upfront. The referee missed much with Peter and Matt having penalty claims turned down. Then Timmy with his family 30 seconds too late scored a great goal which had him blowing kisses to the crowd and allowing Smurthwaite to exorcise the ghosts of last years visit. They did score but according to Alex it wasnt his fault. De la torre was like a gridion kicker launching punts downfield which Peter K and Tim got on the end of. Some fine interplay allowed first David Downes to shoot and later the angelic Rogers but when the whistle blew it was 5-1 to Monash.
Later in the rooms, the little train that could Simon Serebryanikov led a rousing rendition of the Monash theme song. Simon was huffed and puffed but like all good passenger trains he finally delivered. About time !
Monash 5 Beaumaris 1. Serebryanikov 2, Llopart 1, Mumme 1, Smurthwaite 1
Golden Boot Totals ; Simon 2, Llopart1, Pana 1, Kandyliotis 1, Mumme 1, Smurthwaite 1, Jhoomun 1