2010 Round 15 - Stallions vs Old Melburnians

Venue: Menzies park, Toorak
Score: 1 - 4

Match report by Michael Jhoomun

A tough week at training with the committee searching for solutions to get a win before the end of season for the Stallions. Pressure has been rising with the poll of best Sunday team being run on the website adding to pressure on the coaching Staff. Konrad was rumoured to be behind this poll as confident that the Colts would eventually take this place.

The Asian Mafia have decided to diversify their ‘interest’ and decided to venture their capital into sports betting. A large sum had been rumoured to be placed on Arnie or Lou to be Stallions ’golden boot’ winner. Their inside information did not work well with Nektar and MJ being preferred starters for this week.

The game was played on a pitch that was rougher than a Springvale hairdresser on a Saturday morning.

Starting line-up was as follows…

Saint Reza in goal who has sparked transfer interest from rival clubs after his impressive performances of late.

Defence was led by Pog the diplomat. Pog was seen negotiating with a few players that although our coach was English we would not be required to use ‘English Style’. This has impressed his Idol in denial ‘Fossie’ and Pog will be seen post playing career on SBS as the ‘University Analyst’ reporting on the ‘next big thing’ of undiscovered talent at Universities. Mining Magnate and Colts fill in Kenneth and please keep it quiet that I also played this morning Konrad with quiet achiever George.

Midfield was underage Jason, 2IC Jin, Job hopper Pana and Bollywood star Andriiiiiiino Roberts. Jin has also been rumoured to be of interest to the ‘S’ league but after agreeing terms was loathe to find out that he would be required to be on time, train twice a week, complete a pre-season and score goals as an attacking midfielder. Jin politely declined and has agreed to fish the season with Monash.

Up front was MJ and ‘party boy’ Nektar.

On the bench was Asian Mafia golden boot favourite Arnie, Big Fish Paul and 13 Kabs.

On to the game…

The game started poorly for Monash with a soft free kick given early to Old Melburnians. The wall was set up but somehow landed in the back of the net. Monash were still confident but this was a poor start against a team that with respect should not have conceded so early. Down 1-0 after 5 minutes with goals at a premium could be decisive.

Monash started to get into a rhythm with defence cutting out early threats and building through the wings of Jason and Andy. Jason was able to ‘steal’ a few trademark MJ back heels but with pace to press forward for Monash. Andy was also able to take on defenders with pace and skill to provide dangerous crosses into the box. Monash were in control and were able to provide a few chances but the forwards were unable to capitalise on a pitch best kept for Aussie rules. The pace was picking up and Monash sensed that this defence could be beaten. A well taken cross by Andy somehow eluded MJ who was desperate to prove that a golden boot should be won in scoring in more than 1 game. Paul was introduced into midfield and Kabil came on for Nektar. Paul was able to quickly come into the game providing an immediate impact physically. Paul was putting his body on the line which probably looked worse than what it was but was given a yellow card early on after a lunge for a 50/50 that would have Andy Roberts screaming more than a child who was left by his father for a family holiday to Cairns.

Monash were genuinely exuding pressure on Old Melburnians with Andy Roberts playing his best first half since being transferred from Bayside. A cross from Andy Roberts was somehow deflected into the path of MJ who was preparing his golden boot speech for season 2009/2010 only for Paul to swoop by to take the goal literally from his foot in a pledge to the Asian Mafia that Arnie/Lou will be given every opportunity to be the only Asian golden boot winner for Monash.

Half time speech was calm but perhaps in hindsight required sterner words around commitment to defending as a team. Within 5 minutes Paul had turned from goal scoring hero to red card penalty villain. The referee quickly dispatched a red card and penalty to gift Old Melburnians a lead and opportunity. This was a turning point in the game that was unfair to Paul as was provided a much needed defensive pillar to Monash before the send-off.

2-1 TO Old Melburnians after the penalty and Monash a man down. Monash were not playing badly but could not penetrate although a few half chances were created. Andy Roberts and Kabil had the better of chances to get back quickly in to the game but could not bulge the ‘old onion bag’. Andy Roberts was able to perform a ‘Messi’ run but by the end of the run the nightclubs, Old Scotch and late night cigarettes were to catch up with him and not being able to trouble the keeper.

Old Melburnians were able to score twice more to make it 4-1 and flatter the scoreboard. Once again Monash were left to ponder what could have and should have been a winnable game after recent form against better opposition.

Hopefully a few returning players of Alex, Lou, Steve, Glen, Jack, and possibly Brian/JJ may prove decisive for next week’s encounter against Old Scotch.