2010 Round 12 - Stallions vs Elwood City

Venue: Monash Uni
Score: 1 - 3

Match report by Michael Jhoomun

The match report is back!!…So much has happened since the last time…We have a new prime minister that although elected by the people was replaced by his own staff. This has Monash President concerned about what legacy he will leave should James Bernard ‘knife him’ and go from Reserves to seniors, CAP Point Master, Canteen price guru to president. With this in mind Richard was seen at training on Thursday night trying to recruit the ‘Mafia’ into the thirds. Richard was rumoured to offer everything the club had including ‘kickbacks’ from the girls team only for a counter offer to be placed from mining magnate Kenny whispering “I’ll show you a kick back”. Pog was seen as the diplomatic negotiator but the Mafia was strong and the Stallions were to keep the heart and soul.

The team was selected as follows… Chendi "I only shave for ladies" Keeper, Australian Idol lookalike Glen, Mining Magnate back from South Africa investigating what impact the vuvuzelas would have on his ability to communicate with Konrad, Big Jack who is believed to collected quickly World Cup winnings on Spain only to lose it all on backing Arnie to win the Golden Boot and Mr Technical Pog.

Mid Field was Arnie. Arnie has also been rumoured to be having a few ‘sit downs’ over Yu Cha whilst Brian is away. Arnie was given the challenge and Initiation of going out Friday night to the night clubs without getting drunk, dancing to Brittany Spears and sobbing on TT FM his dedication to Jason “I Don’t know much…but I know I love you”. He failed miserably and Brian has seen off another challenger to the P Diddy throne. Midfield debutant Konrad who was pleasantly surprised that today he would play alongside 2IC Jin. Jin has been feeling like a spare tyre lately and was keen to show he was more to his game than just passing to Arnie. Lou the Magician was also back trying to show after a strong start to the season he can play striker from midfield.

Up front was underage Jason and new look two tone Mad Chef Kabil who was reported to be chatting with his hairdresser asking how his coaches can give him more game time. The hairdresser misheard him and thought he heard how could he get more “Gay time” and has been texting Kabil ever since to catch up for a’ hot dog’.

On the bench was Quiet achiever George, Bafana Bafana Botswana Moses and still leading goal scorer myself. The first half commenced well and although relegated to our training pitch, were possessing the ball and creating in our final third. A few half chances were created but not enough quick movement to create any clear cut chances. Elwood have improved their squad with a 1-2 additions that ensured it was a lot more competitive than the previous encounter. Elwood were winning a few crucial 50-50 contest due to their size and won a free kick. A well taken free kick by Elwood tested Chendi which was initially saved but somehow was deflected in for Elwood to take the lead 1-0. Although the free kick was well taken Monash felt unlucky to be behind.

Substitutions were made to bring George, myself and Moses to in to the game. The 50-50 contest was the difference and first to the ball was crucial in this tight contest. Jason was able to win a 50-50 contest and awarded a deserved free kick. The Elwood player did not argue with the ref and decided to take his lack of skill and appreciation of the beautiful game out on Jason. This resulted in an instant red card in what was starting to be a tough physical affair. 

0-1 at half time but with an extra player it was simple directive of playing on the ground and presenting options for the player with the ball. Not a lot had to be changed as we were confident that we would naturally get back in to the game. Monash were definitely starting to work their way in to the game and mid field and defence were linking up well to create some attacking pressure. Movement, 50-50 contest and a few lucky decisions from the ref created some chances. Konrad hit the bar, Kenny hit the bar, Moses hit the ground and Jin hit the corner flag. This was Monash’s time to score. A through ball to Arnie saw him chasing a shot on goal only to meet with the keeper. On any other day this would not be a major turning point in the game but the ref gave a yellow to ensure this does not happen again which was fair enough however Arnie had picked up a yellow in the first half. The ref had no choice but to send Arnie off which unfortunately stopped Monash’s momentum.

Elwood were now 10 v 10 and were allowed to bring their 1-2 better players back in to the game. This proved to be the difference. Elwood were able score a 2nd goal worthy of winning the game. Elwood were able to score a third through a defensive error that made the score line not truly reflective of the contest.

At 3-0 down we were still trying get one back as we knew we would score against Elwood. A well weighted through ball was sent to myself and although far from goal nonchalantly decided to lob the keeper from 25 metres only to be given a heart breaking off side to ensure the score line remained 3-0. With a bit of luck we could have won the contest but Monash were left to rue what should have been 3 points in the bag. 

A few players missing to come back include designer t-shirt Steve, Pana, Andrino who was missing last minute due to a Bollywood stunt gone wrong that was supposed to be side splitting humour but Andy felt more pant splitting murmurs after snacking on some 6 week-old sandwiches.

Hopefully Monash will regain their confidence to get a win next week.

Be Champions